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Nick Fanon Journeys: A World Without Cartoon Logic/Transcript
This is the transcript for Nick Fanon Journeys: A World Without Cartoon Logic. Transcript Gorge: Umm... well, guys... How do you like the fact that there's cartoon logic all around us? Chrome: Great! Cartoon logic allows me to move! Bagel: Me too! Without it, I'd be a bagel who can't move and can't resist being eaten! Gorge: I think the Popples are liking it too. They like to play with 80's technology. (Gorge's cell phone rings) Gorge: Hello? Daniel: Hey, Gorge. There's lots of chaos around the school. That aside, I love cartoon logic. Chloe: I like it too. Jake: I kinda agree on that. Kyle: Sure, I like it as well. Gorge: OK. (Gorge hangs up) Gorge: OK, so what sort of button would someone accidentally press to remove all cartoon logic? (Gorge heads to a pointless button) Gorge: They recently installed a new pointless button. Huh. (Gorge is about to press it, when he slips on a bar of soap) (Gorge slides across town and back before hitting the pointless button after all) Gorge: OK, so this is pointless. I'll use my Coke sprayer. (Chrome is shocked and runs to Gorge) Chrome: No, Gorge, don't- (Gorge aims the Coke sprayer at the pointless button) Chrome: Don't do it! Gorge: What? I wanna see the pointless button be hit by gallons of Coca-Cola! Chrome: That's crazy! (Gorge fires his Coke sprayer, only to fly into a pole of a random button) Gorge: What a trip across town! (Gorge notices the random button) Gorge: Hmm... I dunno whether I should press it or not... (Gorge finds a note) Gorge: Hey, a note! (Gorge reads the note) Gorge: "In order to keep cartoon logic safe, do not press this button. I'm warning you." Well, this is a warning I've never heard of. (Gorge is about to press the random button when something hits him) Gorge: Wait a minute! This button may hold questionable effects, but it might make everything realistic. I don't want any of my friends being feral, either. Technically, at least half my friends alone will go feral if I push this button. I'm climbing down the pole to make sure I don't get any of my friends into a humongous mess. (Gorge slides down the pole) Chrome: Dammit, you almost pressed the button before you realized it. Gorge: I know. I realized that half of my friends would go feral. (cut to Gorge using his computer) Gorge: OK, it says here that feral means that the animal is in a wild state, especially after escape from captivity or domestication. Chrome: Oh. What would happen to us? Gorge: Well, if that button was pushed, you'd be a computer, Chrome, and Bagel would be a normal bagel. Bagel: Thanks for reminding us, Gorge. Gorge: Well, luckily this won't happen anytime soon. (cut to Gorge aiming his Coke sprayer on targets) Gorge: OK, so I feel like this might be... (Gorge fires his Coke sprayer at one of the targets but is sent flying straight into the pole of the random button be encountered before) Gorge: Well, this is gonna take a while. (cut to Gorge firing all the targets while landing indirectly into the random button's pole) Gorge: Great... (cut to the last target) Gorge: Last one. I hope this doesn't decide whether cartoon logic exists or not. (Gorge prepares to fire his Coke sprayer) Gorge: But first... (Gorge goes over to the opposite side of the target) Gorge: ...to make sure that I don't land on there, like usual. Chrome: Umm... isn't going to the opposite side a disadvantage for half of your friends? Gorge: Why? Chrome: Well, animals might go feral... Gorge: OK, fine. (Gorge runs to the other side) Gorge: I'm ready to fire at this target. (Gorge fires his Coke sprayer) (cut to a black screen which fades into a closeup of Gorge's face) (the scene fades out to show Gorge, directly on the random button) Gorge: Oh, this can't be good. (everything goes realistic and Gorge drops to the floor) Gorge: Great, now I'm on the floor. (Gorge tries to fire his Coke sprayer, but can't) Gorge: Well, this is a bad day to aim at targets. (Markiplier arrives) Markiplier: Damn right it is! Gorge: What do you mean? Markiplier: You need to watch CNN to find out what's gone wrong with the logic of the universe! (cut to Gorge's house) Gorge: Want anything? Caffeine-free Sun Drop? Cranberry Sprite? Fanta? Markiplier: Watching CNN. (cut to CNN) CNN anchorman: Hello. Cartoon logic. It's disappeared from this universe recently. All animals that could and would speak are now feral. Markiplier: See what you've done!? That was Sophie on the news! She's no longer a talking animal. You've just turned half of your friends into wild animals! Gorge: Mark, do you really mean that stuff you're talking about- Markiplier: Every word of it. Gorge: Is there any way to turn the cartoon logic back on? Markiplier: Well, three possibilities. One would be confessing to another person that you were the one who turned the cartoon logic off... but then that would lead to jail time. Gorge: What's the second one? Markiplier: Skillet's Monster at over 300 decibels. Gorge: That's really loud. Markiplier: It's almost impossible to achieve. Gorge: Third possibility? Markiplier: The button at the top of that hill marked "Turn the cartoon logic back on" button. I know this, Gorge. Had an otter friend before. I accidentally touched that button you touched today. Within months, he was dead. That's when I went into a rage and hit the same button you need to hit. Gorge: I'll get there in a snap. It's real life now- nothing but technology can go wrong. Markiplier: Yeah, but your friend, Molly, has grown into a full puma within- Gorge: Cougar, mountain lion, puma, panther. Aren't they just the same species? Markiplier: Oh. Right. Gorge: So what now? Markiplier: (gets an idea) You should visit Cupquake! Gorge: OK? (cut to Cupquake's house) Gorge: It feels weirder riding a train than to teleport. Markiplier: In the real world, no teleportation happens. (Markiplier knocks on the door and Cupquake answers) Cupquake: Hey, Mark! Markiplier: Hey, Tiffany! Gorge here has a problem. Cupquake: I know. Cartoon logic suddenly disappeared. Gorge: We all know this. Markiplier: That's not the end of it! (cut to Pop Street School) Markiplier: Without cartoon logic, this school would be torn up. (Markiplier and Gorge go inside to see feral Popples) (cat and dog sounds are heard) Gorge: Anywhere else? Markiplier: Lake Hoohaw, now infested with feral animals! Gorge: Hang on. Aren't there two of them? Like the Popples version? Markiplier: Right. (cut to the Popples version of Lake Hoohaw) Markiplier: Now what? (Markiplier and Gorge get on a boat and see feral Popples) (more cat and dog sounds are heard) (cut to the McLean house) Gorge: They're not home. Weird... (Markiplier and Gorge open the door to hear more cat and dog sounds) Markiplier: Well, then... Gorge: I guess we head down to see... (cut to the PB&J Otter Lake Hoohaw, where otter noises are heard) Gorge: Sophie, is that you? Markiplier: Unfortunately, yes. We need to get to that button. (cut to the button) Markiplier: So... now what? Gorge: I guess press it. Markiplier: Agreed. Time to press the damn button, and then all the real junk would co-exist with cartoon logic again. Gorge: Wait, I think I see something! (cut to Preston Evergreen climbing a tree like a real bear) Gorge: Yep. I've seen enough. (Gorge presses the button, and cartoon logic is restored) Gorge: Well, Mark? Markiplier: I think cartoon logic has been restored. Gorge: OK. Markiplier: I'm going home. See ya! Gorge: Me too. (cut back to the random button) Chrome: Have you learned your lesson yet? Gorge: Yes. Yes, I have. Chrome: No more of this button. (Chrome smashes the button to bits and removes all the wires before cartoon logic disappears) Gorge: Wait, how'd you find those wires? Chrome: I just found them. I'm going to my basement... of science. Gorge: OK, then. By the way, what's in your attic, Chrome? (Chrome pauses to feel shocked) (To be continued in Nick Fanon Journeys: The Forbidden Attic)